One of the latest trends in Bollywood is blogging. Some of the biggest Bollywood names that are now blogging (much more regularly than I do btw!) are Aamir Khan and Amitabh Bachchan. The latest person to start one is Ram Gopal Varma - one of the more "auteur" directors in Bollywood. While I have blissfully ignored the blogs of Aamir Khan and Mr Bachchan (whenever they write something more unusual the Indian tabloids report it anyway) I think I will seriously have to consider subscribing to Ram Gopal Varma's because his is so hilariously bitchy ;)
Anyway, RGV has just had a new film (Sarkar Raj) released and once again the reviews are bad. His response is hilarious:
The critics have a tendency to be bitchy to ridicule, to make sweeping statement to camouflage their ignorance of cinema with profound sounding lines and the reader for want of an opposing view might get taken in. So as long as the critic or anyone else has a right to review I think I have a right to review the reviews. So read on my review of reviews of SARKAR RAJ in my blog.
He then proceeds in totally taking all the reviews apart, sentence by sentence - it's hilarious ;)
I think my favourite one is when he takes apart the review of Mr Subhash K Jha. Some of the highlights of that one:
1. Sarkar is about the lacerated life of a Thackeray like family with the concept of spatial harmony acquiring a surrealistic meaninglessness because of the disembodied camera movements.
Ans: Does it mean that if the camera movement were embodied (whatever that means??!) it will become meaningful reality?
2. In Sarkar he observed, studied and pondered.
Ans: What did I observe, study and ponder?
3. He drags the uneasy relationship between Subhas Nagre and his kicking, screaming and wailing son into an arena of heightened scenes no exacerbated emotions.
Ans: I am impressed with your English. I would be more impressed if I understood what it means.
(...)
14. Prabhavalkar is a bizarre representation of Gandhism in these troubled times when fathers kill daughters and ministers go to prison.
Ans: Whatever that means.
15. Amit Roy’s cinematography and Sunil Nigvekar’s art are a raga pf rusty browns.
Ans: You want it to be blue or what?
So if you ever make a film and need to get back at the film critics giving you bad reviews, this is the way to do it ;) I'll be curious to see if he gets a response to this from the media lol
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